Myself

I am an impatient sinner
Swearing more artfully than a sailor,
And then apologizing
in an endless cycle -
“I fall down, I get up, I keep on dancing” -
My heart spends penitent eons
face-down in worship
of a mighty, holy God,
baffled that he loves me
In spite of my vices.

I am a turtle-loving,
literature-shoveling,
artist-in-training,
Internet-dweller, with little freedom
for friendships in real life.
I am a compulsive
lesson-planner
list-maker,
ex-slacker, exhausted
from striving to succeed,
pushing myself ever forward
for the sake of three
who depend on me.

I am a homework-helper
Staying up late to have time
with my own kids
Responsible by necessity
Training myself to do it all
Early riser, bill wrangler,
housework hustler, mistress of car maintenance,
natural remedy distributing
Doctor of Motherhood
Specializing in selfless love.

I am a song-singing, story-telling
Hand-motion choreographer.
I am an eye-popping
Knowledge dropping
Guide to seventeen 5-year-olds
The Pudding Whisperer
Apronless painter
Science experimenting, air guitar rocking
Second mom to a school full
Of runny-nosed angels.

I am a solitary diamond
Too elegant for a mate.
Sleep alone, rise alone,
pray alone, wait.
I am not in a hurry
I don’t need to know
my future – the how or when -
I know the One in control.
My God is great.
I can wait.

I am harmless
I am fierce
I am silly
I am smart
I believe life is an art.
Not a science
Or a dogma
Or even a test.
I live each new day thankfully
I do my best.
And over and over
I am abundantly blessed.

(C) Tasha Chinnock 2013

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