Then and Now

Back when we fogged
Truck windows
And embraced on
Evening sidewalks
Before the cellulite
And the seven year itch
You made a list
Twenty reasons to wed
Proof of at least
Twenty things to love
About me
Proof you admired me
As I adored you
Meant for each other
Destined by God
Set apart for greatness
Together.

Back when there were
No secrets
And boundless grace
We kissed all night
Without a slice
Of perplexity in your eye
Only trust
Like a ticklish foot
Sole exposed
Laid bare and pink
At your fingertips

On the long road
To New Mexico
We stayed entertained
Snickered at dirty jokes
Smoked ceaselessly
I was a skinny girl
With makeup and fingernails
Who cared only for
Turning your perfect head
And under a moon-lit pier
Your fiancé touch
Tried on husband's shoes
And I, clinging,
More than trusted –
Depended on your love
Love unashamed
To need me
To demur life without me

Somehow, a mystery,
Life together
Robbed that love
Side by side
Sharing every burden
Became a nuisance
The birth of three
Yawning heirlooms
Was disillusioning
Matronly breasts and belly
Betrayed trust
Faulty prayers and
Reeking hormones
Aging destroyed
The idea of matrimony
Nullified your love list
Deserted me on this island.

(c) Tasha Chinnock 2006